Critical Distance Fansite Jam Roundup: March 2024

Welcome back sickos.

At the end of February something special caught our eye: Phil Salvador’s Final Fantasy VIII is the Best And If You Don’t Agree I Will Destroy You. A deliberate throwback to 90s web design and a less-consolidated, more creative Internet, the site made waves. We liked it so much we decided we wanted to see more sites like it.

So we put out the call, and the Critical Distance Fansite Jam was born.

We played pretty fast and loose with the rules, because the thing we wanted to promote above all else was creativity. We received a total of 17 submissions, and all of them are accounted for below in a definitive sickos’ edition of our usual weekly roundup. Take your time with these sites–poke around, find secrets, linger on the details. If you come back to them at some point in the future, maybe some will even have updates!

This was so much fun that we’ve decided we want to keep this idea going, though we haven’t sat down to sort out what that might look like just yet. Have any ideas? Themes? Challenges? Come visit us on our Discord server and share your thoughts!

Oh, and I’ll shake the can just once before I leave off: supporting us through our Patreon doesn’t just help us in our ongoing mission to compile noteworthy and interesting games writing from around the web; it also gives us the flexibility and resources to do silly things like this. Every little bit helps!

But enough talk: have at you!

Just Like You Remember

Let’s start with some games anchored firmly in the same era that the idea of the fansite evokes: the mid-to-late 90s.

• (( Q U A K E ))
  Wren’s landing page for Quake is a period-appropriate slipgate complex of sorts, connecting the nascent sicko with all the resources and community support they need to get up and running in the chaotic high watermark of id’s early output.
  • Don’t miss: The image gallery 🙂

• BLOOD GOD FANS DOT NET
  Of all the submissions we received, Bee’s is the most mysterious. In fact, I’m kind of in a box here–the more I try to talk about it, the more I’ll spoil the fun. So maybe just go see for yourself, yeah?
  • Don’t miss: Interviews with maniasoft director Kevin Kevinson

Next-Gen Sickos

Fansites aren’t just for old stuff! Our next two featured entries have extended the ethos of the fansite to contemporary titles and topics.

• Destiny 2 Is Good, Actually, And I’m Tired Of Pretending It Isn’t
  Kaile, arguably the pre-eminent Destiny 2 sicko/sufferer, got in on the fun too with this blog-style site. Here you’ll find a mix of Takes, industry criticism, and experiential writing.
  • Don’t miss: Skimmerposting hours baybeeee

• Playdate: The Unofficial Website
  Honestly, the way Nick so perfectly captures the whole visual identity of the Playdate here, you could have told me this was the device’s official website and I would have just believed you. Beyond the polish, you’ll find a lot of content here, including user guides, individual game writeups, and a plan to review all 24 games that come with the Playdate’s initial season pass!
  • Don’t miss: The sideloading guide!

With a Twist

None of our next four entrants play it entirely straight. Each still has a particular game or series as their focus, but with a unique approach to the material. Enjoy!

• Shadowscribing
  Well if it isn’t my all-time favourite 6/10 game! Joe and Jeff have a plan here to map out their playthrough of N64 banger Star Wars: Shadows of the Empire with a series of level-by-level writeups mixing genres and perspectives. The first level is live! Keep an eye on this one.
  • Don’t miss: The Battle of Hoth

• Lia’s BK nonsense
  The GameCube–a console with many exclusive niche games but not so many sales–presents a sort of parallel universe to discerning genre sickos. Lia’s entry, which catalogues the experience of the Baten Kaitos games through media galleries and extensive tweet archives, is as much a flex of web-dev engineering as it is compelling window into this parallel universe of sickodom.
  • Don’t Miss: Of course I picked the Greythorne Viewer

• The Toad Town Tribune – The Mushroom Kingdom’s Most Trusted News Source Since 1889!
  Folks… this one shitposted too close to the sun–and then kicked a koopa shell into that sun and killed it for 100 points. Christopher Gates’ entry takes the form of an entire online newspaper–replete with reporting, editorials, and even a sports section–that captures the fascinating absurdity of the Mushroom Kingdom by filling in its idiosyncratic corners with rich worldbuilding.
  • Don’t miss: Popular Spade House Closed Amid Gambling Crackdown

• Memento Majora
  Matthew Parsons’ Majora’s Mask fansite has a twist–it’s produced entirely from memory, and I can’t think of a more appropriate subject for the experiment. To me it harkens back to the whimsical unreliability of fansites in general in the 90s, when the games press pipeline was still patchy enough for rumors and pranks to thrive.
  • Don’t miss: Start with the About page.

Live, Die, Refresh

Roguelikes and Roguelites are on deck in this next section. No save scumming here!

• The Roguelite House
  While most of the fansites folks made focus on single games or franchises, Joel Haddock tackles a whole dang subgenre here, bringing together both genre history as well as per-game analyses of a bunch of popular titles.
  • Don’t miss: Joel’s breakdown of the history and usage of the term

• (( W A N D E R E R ‘ S J O U R N A L ))
  Wren somehow found time to submit two separate fansites to the jam, and they couldn’t be more different. This one takes the form of an interactive love letter to Chunsoft’s house-brand roguelike Shiren the Wanderer.
  • Don’t miss: Just start at the beginning 🙂

Mega Fans

My early exposure to Mega Man was entirely through fansites, since I didn’t grow up with many of the original games. It feels very right to me, then, that the Blue Bomber is well accounted for in this series-specific section.

• My MegaMan Fan Page!!!
  While Kaile and I are probably the most visible contributors to the Critical Distance project these days, it is absolutely Zach who keeps everything running behind the scenes. He also found time, somehow, to submit his own entry to the jam and hoo boy is he channelling the Deep Mega Man Sprite Comic Magic with this one. Behind that shitpost-y veneer, however, you’ll find some pretty sharp textual analysis.
  • Don’t miss: Thematic analysis across the metafranchise

• Welcome to the Cyber World
  Mike Egan’s entry zeroes in on the Mega Man Battle Network subseries, and it is, for lack of a better description, aesthetic AF. It’s even got background music! In terms of content, you’ll find rankings, a media gallery, and some lovely experiential writing.
  • Don’t miss: Mike’s Battle Network origin story

What’s the Catch?

Now let’s move into another genre-specific section–this time it’s monster collecting and battling! Though you can probably already bring one very popular example to mind, there’s a good chance you haven’t heard of either of these games, and that’s the point! Sickos rejoice!

• Fossil Fighters Made It So I Can’t Play Other JRPGs
  Now we’re getting into bona fide sickos’ territory. Opiter Emptorius Academicus’s site compiles guides, criticism, shitposts, and other media on–as the author correctly calls out right on the landing page–a game I didn’t even know existed until now: DS monster-collecting RPG Fossil Fighters.
  • Don’t miss: Literally just all the haikus in the game!

• The web site of Dragonseeds
  Reach’s entry is a tribute to underappreciated PS1 Monster Battler Dragonseeds. I know this is a good game because I checked out the media gallery and there is a dragon that is also a lion and also a shark! You’ll also find some history and a quick-start gameplay guide, all wrapped in a sublimely PS1-chique aesthetic.
  • Don’t miss: Guest book! Guest book!!!

Blame Yourself or God

Technically, this isn’t a Tactical RPG section, since one of the entrants is about Ogre Battle rather than the Tactics Ogre subseries. But we all know these two go together, right? They go together! C’mon.

• OgreBattle64.net
  Joshua Lindquist has built out a shrine to arguably the most underappreciated entry in the Ogre Battle/Tactics Ogre series of RPGs. Here you’ll find detailed guide resources including maps, stat calculators, character encounter walkthroughs, and more! This is a great resource for a somewhat-forgotten game that’s kind of inaccessible in more ways than one!
  • Don’t miss: The special character recruitment guide!

• final fantasy tactics is the only good final fantasy
  Chuck Sebian-Lander’s tribute to the original Final Fantasy Tactics brings together critical writing and shitposts in equal measure, packaging both in a simple sepia-toned design that takes me back to 1997.
  • Don’t miss: Why the original localization of the game is the best one

Sickos’ Chaser

We’ve got one more entry to close out the showcase and it’s a treat.

• Starcraft 64Ever
  Matt’s love of StarCraft 64–that’s right, the console port specifically–is legend on the server, and that love shines through in this single-serving site that both indulges all the best (?) impulses of fansite design while also spinning up just enough of a sales pitch that you can almost imagine Nintendo greenlighting it as an official landing page for the game in an era of less standarization and oversight (and more fun).
  • Don’t miss: Buddy… just have the experience.